I'm tired of thinking, let's forgo the title...

I am doing much better today.

I went and had the eye test and it took the entire morning. My eyes are now getting back to normal, but the sad part is....they still don't know if I have glaucoma or not and here is why. The corneal cups are large (as in glaucoma) but since there are no previous pics, she doesn't know if that may just be normal for me, my numbers (measurements) while not good are all in the green, and most appear normal, except for two spots of damage on each eye. So we are still straddling the line as we were before, given that I do have high pressure. I have to go back for a visual field test and for them to measure my cornea. If the test comes back normal and the measurements show a thick cornea, then the pressure may be normal, but we will know more April 18.

My mil got her new computer today (she was slogging along on an old ME) and we went over to help her set it up and she fed us a yummy dinner of taco crunch. Mmmmm. I overate as I usually do at her house. Sigh. I so lack discipline. (It's always kindof nice to get a break from my own cooking, lol.) Anyway, after a long while she got to get on and get everything set up.
There is something gratifying about watching her get used to a new keyboard and kewl screen. She really loved the keyboard. :0)

I moved my computer to a new location. I had it in the back room for two years and I have barely been able to write. I hope this location is better. I got quite a bit done last night, but midnight came and I needed to go to bed, and tonight I was looking forward to getting a load done, but the new computer came up and now it is nearly midnight again. HOPEFULLY tomorrow I can get some done.

So although I was whiney yesterday, I am doing better tonight. And I think that the journey that I make in my writing, whether it includes publishing or not, is going to be made with God. Because until I can learn to totally depend on Him, I don't think a mentor is going to show up and give me support. It really is hard to hand it all over to Him and just trust in His judgement. At least that portion of my life.
But I'm learning.

Have a great evening.

Strange Day

Today has just been. . .weird. We had an Employee Appreciation Lunch at work today. I learned that you need to see who is in the line before you open your mouth. I made several jokes with my fellow employees while my head was down, slicing bread. . .one included the fact that I wrote suspense and was holding a long knife. When I glanced up my supervisor was in line giving me the oddest look. :0) I think she thought I was loopy, I had only proved it.

Today is also the two year anniversary of my mother's death. I have missed her sorely for two years but today was especially bad. I just looked at her picture with her sparkling brown eyes and her half smile (she was paralyzed on one side) and just wished that I could see it one more time, and hold her just once more and tell her how much I loved her and what a difference she made in my life. How I wouldn't trade her for any other mother in the world.

And then to make today a happy day. . .my friend Camy (one of the Fab Four) just signed a three book contract with Zondervan!!!!! Woooohoooo! I have goosebumps on top of goosebumps and I can't sit still. I had to call her to scream in her ear. :0) I called my husband at work to tell him and he wooohooo and hooped about it too. (Luckily he is in the office alone, or peeps'd be looking at him weirder than they already do, lol). See, that is when you know your hubby understands, when he gets as happy as you do over a friend getting published. No telling what he'll do when I get the call, but I bet his grandma is gonna grab a ladder and shout it from the rooftops. :0)
So anyway when they come out you will be hearing alot of publicity for Camy Tang. Don't forget that name. Important!

Well, it is time for my excited, yet tired self to get in bed. We worked on setting up a new desk area for me tonight. I'm so tired I keep thinking I'm in the new spot when I'm not. :0) I'm delusional.

Hope you all have a blessed day. And go hug someone you love and let them know how much they mean to you.

I'm gonna go hug my kids and my darling husband. :0)

I'm sending hugs to all my friends too.

It's that time of year

I just love spring.

We have oodles of daffodils showing off their gorgeous gowns and the smell of those little purple grape looking things, hyacinths? Mmmmm. Little fat robins hop around in the back yard pecking for food and there is a young male cardinal that sings to me every day. . .and I answer back. The sun is usually shining by the time I head out the front door, but it hasn't burned off the cool of the night.

Today, the clouds gathered and threatened. But I was at work before I realized this because. . .in my way this morning, the way I felt, feeling like the day was a gift to be opened rather than torture to endure, it felt like the sun was shining.

I find that if I say a prayer of thanksgiving to God about my blessings as soon as my eyes open, then the rest of the morning just falls into place.

I have been thinking about Easter. Someone mentioned a movement to call the Easter Bunny the Spring Bunny. And she wasn't happy about it. Not to step on any feelings here, but I can't get too upset about it, because to me, Easter and the bunny have nothing to do with one another. One is just as wonderful and pure and full of light as it can be and the other, well, it is just as pagan.
The bunny and the egg are supposed to be symobols of new life.

I think as Christians we know that the open tomb represents Jesus conquering death. And therefore the open tomb represents our new life.

Writing: Stuck things really can start to move again, even if it takes alot of sweat and elbow grease.

Dietwise: I am trying to be good. Not sure how well I am doing. My favorite pants are loose on me, but I sure need to firm some stuff up. Got to get back to exercising everyday.

Something is going on tonight. Yesterday evening I heard gunshots. About a clips worth. Then my dogs went nutso. They rarely do that.
Today, I have heard sirens all day long. Since about four thirty this evening until just a little while ago. Makes me wonder if they found a dead body or something over across the gully. Guess Ishould go watch the news and find out.

Let me know what your favorite signs of spring are. You can be as descriptive as you want. :0)

Third Day

 

Third Day

This is where he made a point that God had been driving home all day. He talked about hope, grace, and santuary. All week I have been listening to a segment on Turning Point about grace. Strangely enough I have been running so late all week that I have been hearing most of the programs which is unusual. They have blessed me. Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions and then when I got home, there was something waiting for me. This item so discouraged me, so disappointed me, that I felt slighted. And the feeling overwhelmed me for a while. I rode with my husband to work so that I could bring the van back for the boys and I to attend the concert. All the while this disappointement and resentment knawed at me. There were so many wrecks and traffic was backed up so far that I had to choose an alternate route back home. I'm not sure what the subject was. I was listening to the music and my alternate route was still packed, but not at a standstill like the other highway.
And suddenly the DJ said something about forgiveness and grace. He said God shed great grace on us, so why is it so hard for us to bestow it on others? When someone does something to offend you, try to show them grace. Why are we so flippant with grace when God was so generous with it.
Talk about a kick upside the head!
I, of course immediately asked for forgivness, and began to use that grace that God showed me to the other person.
I got back home and the boys were almost ready. I changed out of my work clothes and we left to grab a bite to eat (since I nearly cut my finger off yesterday, I didn't feel like getting my bandaged finger NEAR a knife. Hubby said it needed a stitch and it was deep, but he and my son working together fixed it and I didn't have to go to the hospital or be late for church, whew). I was a wee bit nervous driving into the heart of Missouri like that with all that traffic, and although I had worked there before I got married, that has been some time ago and back then I KNEW where I was going to park and all. This time I didn't. Strangely enough I drove straight to a nearly empty parking garage, managed to find the place to pay (handy so that the van didn't get towed while we were gone) and it wasn't that far to get to the auditorium. Which we were thankful since it was really cold out and we weren't dressed for it.
The concert rocked. Totally new experience for all of us. The words from the performers, touched and blessed me. And drove home the two facts God had been showing me all week.
1. Grace is a two way street.
2. We always have a santuary in His arms when life is hurtful or disappointing. And He wants us to use it.
Again I met the guy next to me and his wife. Paul and Leslie I found out after the show. Very nice couple. He had a beautful singing voice. During the last of the concert I felt led to introduce myself, by name this time to both of them, and tell them that I was a Christian author. Which I did. As soon as I did that, Paul said, "Really, I'm an editor."
Needless to say, I think my jaw hit the floor. :0) Anyway that started some interesting conversation and we were going to exchange cards. . .only neither of us had any. Ds2 found one old one of mine in his wallet and he gave it up. I also found out he was a musician in a band.
My son said that God had a hand in planning all that. 

David Crowder and Third Day

 

End of intermission

 

David Crowder Band

We enjoyed his show immensely. He was funny, whimsical, and talented. He believed in involving the crowd. His instructions is how I met the guy beside me...remember that, it's going to be important. He had us greet the people all around us and tell them that we were happy to be here with them. Later, he had us put our arms around the people on either side of us and bounce. I was also blessed that all the loud singers in my immediate area were very talented, adding to the experience. 

The winner is

Emma.

Could you please email me at Pamela@pamela-james.com and send me your snail mail address so I can get that to you.

Jennifer, would you please contact me also? Thank you!

Thank you both for participating.

Hugs!

So sad

I only have one entry. I am extending the contest until tomorrow after I get home from work. The answer to the question doesn't have to be right, just an answer, then you are entered.

I will be drawing around 1:45pm Central time.

It's a great book. In case you are unfamiliar, it is a historical during the time of the First World War (or Great War as it is called). Talk about tough situations, this heroine is put in some tough places.

To Enter the Drawing

to win Pieces of Silver by Maureen Lang, answer one of these three questions.
1) Whose tail is in the before picture of me below?
2) Which cat do we call Groovy Chick?
or 3) Whose "angry" toe is this picture of?
Details: I will draw the name Sunday afternoon and post it here on the blog. If I don't here from the winner by next Wednesday, I will draw another name.
Blessings and hugs!

Eowyn

 

Little E

 

After

This is only one pair. The other pair was messed up so we had to reorder. Those are my funky fun ones, these are my 'regular' ones.  

Before

The stylish fur is not optional but in this case, mandatory. :D 

A Thought I Wanted To Share Today

Sundays should be for rest and worshipping the Lord. Somehow our days of rest have become rather frantic. As we move along in our busy days, let us think about this:

The Jews would not willingly tread upon the smallest piece ofpaper in their way, but took it up; for possibly, they say, thename of God may be on it. Though there was a little superstitionin this, yet truly there is nothing but good religion in it, ifwe apply it to men. Trample not on any; there may be some workof grace there, that thou knowest not of. The name of God may bewritten upon that soul thou treadest on; it may be a soul thatChrist thought so much of, as to give His precious blood for it;therefore despise it not. -- S. T. Coleridge

Pressin' On

Sorry, got that title from a song my kid is listening to by Reliant K, lol. And that is what I am doing. I got up this morning, sat down, popped in a mp3 of the conference in Nashville (Randy's class) and did some light editing. Then I hit it hard.

I got on the interenet to do a couple of things and got off.

I finished that stinkin' chapter!!! Woohooo!

I'm only here to update and crow about my accomplishment. Then I'm getting on the next chapter which isn't going to work out like I planned, yet I will figure out something.

Feast your eyes over to the write at my progress. Just to refresh your memory it did say 43,701 with 16,299 to 21,299 to go!

Back to that pesky chapter and my wayward hero. :0)

Don't forget, there will be a contest for Pieces of Silver some day next week, so keep checking back. And this time I am going to make you do something to be entered. Oh, don't worry, I keep my torture in my books, you're quite safe, I assure you. :0) The question is...do you trust me? Bwahahahahaha!

Peace.

Drumroll please!

I wrote the names of identical slips of paper, folded them in an identical manner and mixed them up in a huge bowl. Then I took the bowl in search of my oldest son (my youngest son drew the name of the winner of the copy of Alaska Twilight). I found him in front of the garage, working on a lawnmower (tells you what time of year it is, huh?). He stuck his greasy hand in and pulled out the name.......

The winner of the copy of Pink is......Jamie Driggers! Yay!!!

Email me at Pamela@pamela-james.com and we'll get this to you ASAP!


Check back next week. I will be giving away a copy of Pieces of Silver by Maureen Lang. The cover is stunning and the first few pages are great. :0) It's a historical set in the Great War era.

Writing: I ended up deleting the chapter I was working on. All but the last line, and used it as the first line. Too much superflous stuff. :0) But I got back into the groove, just in time to get so tired I could barely function. Looking forward to some quiet time to tackle it tonight.

I am feeling terribly stressed today. My stomach aches with it. I think last night didn't help. I felt like I was spinning my wheels and everything conspired against me to get any writing done. I went to bed with the feeling of distress and awoke with it. I tried to dispell it, praying and all. But the day lent itself to more pressure. Today was Chinese day. I had hotdogs out, only three because we had a tray full of sandwiches and a gargantuan order of Chinese food. I sold two hotdogs as soon as I opened which left me with the one that a lady had reserved earlier in the day, during breakfast. She promised she would be by early to get it. So here it was the busiest time because the Chinese had just arrived, I had a line clear to the door and was still trying to figure out which was what. A lady appeared and looked at the lone hotdog on the rotater thing. She asked for it. I explained that it was already sold, to which she gives me a fierce glare and said, "It doesn't look sold, it is sitting RIGHT there." (yeah, and I just decided NOT to sell it to her? right.) "She put it on reserve before to....." I tried to explain only to be rudely interupted by "Well, WHAT kind of soup do you have?" "Tomato." Then she was so angry at me her face literally turned pink. "I guess I won't eat lunch today then," she yelled at me. Whew. You know, unfairly, that messed me up all day long. The lady in Human Resources thinks I should tell my supervisor. I complained about that once and she told me everyone was stressed and that didn't excuse it (obviously it did in her opinion, however) but it did go a long way to explain it. But as I thought about it, you know, I'm not asking for special rights or anything. I don't want them to be my friends, I have friends, I have family, all I ask is to be treated as another human being, is that too much to ask? Do I have a sign Treat Me Like Dirt Under Your Feet hanging around my neck? I mean my position is to SERVE not their SERVANT. Unfortunately, instances like that happen far more often than I like to admit. Anyway, what do you guys think? Should I report the incident to my supervisor?

Other things keep happening too. Well, I get my eyebrows waxed tomorrow so maybe that will take some weight off my mind, lol. At least I can quit hiding behind my bangs.

YOu know I was thinking about sin the other day. How it is like crayon on a flat latex wall. You ever tried to get that off? You'll rub your elbow to nothingness and STILL have the artwork on your wall. You can paint (excuses) over it and try to cover it up, but guess what happens? It bleeds back through. The only way to cover it is to either remove the wall or cover it with KILZ which neutrilizes it. (Jesus's blood on the cross). We are so fortunate to have a loving God. Let's give Him praise, if for no other reason than for His Holiness.

Hugs to you all!

One more

My handsome hero, hubby. :0) This is a little closer, he's totally involved with the music. He and the boys sound great together. Just imagine, when we first married he wanted enough girls for our own soccer team. God blessed us with two boys and I think now, Greg is glad, cause now we have our own band. :D 

First Signs

I know the grass looks horrible and the leaves should have been raked, but this was poking up in my front yard this afternoon. The yellow ones came up weeks ago, but I love the purple crocuses. I think this year I will pull up the flowers that were left over and put in flowers that I will love to see. I think I'll put in another rose bush this year and hope that no one mows it over...er, we won't mention names, :0) even though the rose had two beautiful lavander blooms on it making it rather hard to miss the fact that it was indeed a flower, not a weed. 

Your chance to win Pink

It took me a while to get my non-stingy side to let go of this book. I have another copy of it and it is an awesome read. Fun, yet touching on some deep, some painful subjects, but in the end showing the power of our Awesome Father in Heaven.
I love the cover too. The girl is absolutely gorgeous (whoever she is) and the rest of it just seems fun.
If you would like a chance to win this book, you can comment on this post. I will draw a name Wednesday evening before I go to church and announce it here on the blog. If I get no reply from the winner, I will draw another name.
Writing: I am mostly doing edits right now. I write for a while (usually write ugly. . .REALLY ugly) and then I try to clean it up. I have a few friends who give me good hard crits, drawing blood if they have to and then I can whip that part into shape.

I was on a conference call tonight and my cat was sooooooo naughty. To anyone that was on the conference call and might have heard some weird sounds, I do apologize. First she attacked my feet and proceeded to chew on my toes. Couldn't get her to quit. Then when I opened my files to get something out. . .in she went (rolling my eyes here) and then when I sat at the computer to look something up, she got on the keyboard, fluffy tail in my face. (sigh) Then she climbed up the computer cords up the back of the computer, trying to bring the whole shelf down and then knocked over almost all my cds! Then she leaped up in the air, grabbing and biting my elbow. And finally she stole my chair.
We finally figured out she was jealous of the phone call. Poor dear. So to soothe her ruffled, er, fluff, I gave her a packet of her special food. . .which she tried to help me open and we ended up making a mess on the floor. She's happy now, however. She's sleeping, I think she wore herself out with her antics. She nearly wore me out. :0)
Diet: I haven't weighed myself and I don't want to. But I have been walking alot with the kids so my pants are staying loose. :0) If I could ever get the grocery shopping done, maybe we could get back to a normal schedule.

In other news...the kids and I are going to see Third Day and the David Crowder Band in concert! Wooohooo! I ordered the tickets online and they sent them in the mail. I have them hanging in a conspicuious spot on my Mom calander. We are so excited. This is the kids first Christian concert and they can't wait.

I guess I've rambled enough. Sorry I have no profound words to leave with you.

However I did hear a good definition of grace the other day. Alot of people believe that grace is a justification of the sin. Godly grace is justification of the SINNER. And that is an encouraging thought. There is no other way we could be justified, thank God He loves us enough to extend grace of such magnitude to us, so that we may be with Him for eternity. That should send us leaping and dancing in the streets shouting His goodness, sharing it with others just like the one leper who came back to thank our Lord for healing him.
Let us be the one. Let us take stock in our blessings and see just how many we can name.

Peace and blessings. 

Rocker Chick!

Okay, I can only play a few notes and this was taken as I was trying to get the guitar off me. :0) The one my hubby is holding is a five string acoustic bass. That thing is so huge, it only lacks about five inches being as tall as I am. The guitar I am holding is my youngest son's baby. (at least until he gets the motorcycle he wants, lol) 

Booksigning!

Cyndy Salzmann and Judith Miller did a booksigning in Olathe (and one in Topeka also) and I got to go down and chat with them. Bought a couple of books too, although I did realize that I had left my wallet at home so that left me with checks and no ID. But I'm in the system at the bookstore (DUH! It is a Christian bookstore, with music too, of course I'm a frequent shopper, lol), and the lady knew me, so I was able to make the purchase anyway. Whew! The cake for my mil's birthday was another matter entirely. :D 

Trying to learn backup

My niece is teaching me the song. I was trying to learn the echo. Very flattering pic to catch us mid word, eh? By the way, my niece is QUITE the singer, just like her momma. :0) 

Passing it on

It's quite a privelege to be able to hold this particular guitar. But my son is teaching his younger cousin the same way he learned from his dad. Hands on. 

Musical Family

It sure is fun to belong to a musical family. This was for my mil's birthday, it was actually one of her presents. We had a blast though. :0) Who needs a band when you have enough family to make one of your own? And you know what? We sounded pretty good too.
Hope you had a blessed weekend. 

And the Winner is........

Julie Carobini!!!! Yay!

Julie, email me at Pamela@pamela-james.com and give me your snail mail addy so I can get this to you. :0)

Sorry that took so long.

Don't forget to check back. Next week I will be giving away another fabulous book. Pink by Marilyn Griffith.

Have a wonderful weekend.

The "eyes" have it.

Hey all. Don't forget to post below if you want a chance to win Colleen's book.

The little bat is something the guys found while they were checking out a cave. They like to go exploring and it's a father/son thing they all enjoy. My hubby is so good about spending time with our sons.

This post probably won't be long, as I am tired and trying to share my seat. Her majesty, Little E, thinks that the seat is hers and she refuses to get out, although I have been sitting here for at least an hour. Things are starting to fall asleep on me so I'll probably let her have it when I finish here. :0)

I went to the eye doctor yesterday. Things have gotten worse since I last been to one. (I might add, I lost my glasses last year.) With one eye, I could barely see the second line. You know what an eye chart looks like. The other eye was much better, but worse than what it had been...probably strain from working for the other eye...the slacker.

So I got the eyeglasses, the two pair (you've seen the commercial) because my hubby and I, we figured that me being me, will lose a pair, and this way I always have a backup. :0) I can't wait to get them. I got some silver framed elegant ones, and one pair of fun ones. I'll try to post pics if I can get a decent pic of me.

They also did some field tests. You know the one where they puff air into your eye to measure the pressure in it? Yeah? Well, mine came out high. Wasn't too concerned because the last three times I've gone to the eyedoctor it has been high and they give me these little computer tests and say that I'm fine. It is not glaucoma. This time, they took another test. After fitting me for the corrective lenses, the doctor (who was awesome btw) put some eyedrops in my eyes. Yellow ones. Bleck. The drops took affect and my eyeballs were numb. Now that is a weird, freaky feeling, friends to have numb eyeballs. You blink, but you can't feel it. She used a machine the actually touched my eyeball, but I didn't feel it.

The numbers were higher than they have ever been. So then she looks into my eyes and discovers two other factors that aren't in my favor. Even though I have no visual field deterioration, my (cornea or retina) is enlarged and pale. Not good, especially when added to the amount of pressure showing behind the eye. So she wrote me a referral to a specialist who will be able to tell if I have glaucoma, if I do how to treat it, and if not, he will probably keep a close eye on it to keep it from developing into a monster.

You're prayers are greatly appreciated. I am a very visual person, but I am not terribly afraid of this. I ask for prayers but I feel a peace about whatever will happen. I know God is taking care of me.

Now, I am so sleepy, lol. I will bid you all a fond farewell. Namarie (not not Lakhota that time, this is Elvish) and it means Farewell.

God bless you all.

Don't forget I am drawing a name for the drawing for a copy of Colleen's book Alaska Twilight. High Noon tomorrow. Meet me in the square at High Noon. (I just love Clint Eastwood and John Wayne movies, lol. Buster Keaton is one of my faves too.)

The winner will be posted here.

Awwwwwww~!

Look how little tiny he is. (Well, it may be a she, they didn't check, lol.) Impressive set of chompers, eh? My youngest is holding it, just to give you perspective on the size. 

Colleen Coble

RITA finalist Colleen Coble lives with her husband, Dave in Indiana. She is the author of The Rock Harbor Series and The Aloha Reef Series. Visit her website at colleencoble.com For a chance to win her newest book, read below. 

Alaska Twilight

For a chance to win this new book, read the post below. 

A Chance to Win a Free Book!

I am giving away a free copy of Colleen Coble's newest book Alaska Twilight! So new, in fact, I'm not sure it is in stores yet. :0)

To qualify for this book, you must comment on this post or the two pictures above. I will draw a name at noon on Saturday. (That's noon my time, people, and I'm central standard.) I will announce the winner in this blog. If I don't hear from the winner by March 7 (Tuesday), I will draw another winner. So come back and check.

Let me tell you a little about the book.

Back blurb:

For some people, Alaska is a breathtaking wilderness adventure, full of light and beauty. For Haley, it is a dangerous world of dark dreams and tortured memories. On the surface, she's here to document wildlife activist Kipp Nowak's bear encounters. But her real reason is to unearth the truth about a past murder. The suspense mounts when another body turns up, and Haley begins to wonder if the tragedies she experienced in the past are connected to the dangers and mysterious incidents of the present.
From behind the viewfinder of her camera, Haley observes it all, including Tank Lassiter, the bear biologist who has been forced to lead Kipp and his team into the Alaskan backcountry. As she watches him with his work, she feels a growing attraction. It will take great courage and faith to confront the truth she once ran away from. Before it's over, Haley may be viewing herself from an entirely new angle.
Alaskan Twilight is the story of a young woman's emergence from the shadows of past sorrow into the light of forgiveness and grace.

Sounds great, huh? So post and enter the drawing! :0)